Friday, July 08, 2011

Review: Transformers 3

After the once in a generation debacle that is called Transformers 2 (TF2), I was very wary about Transformers 3(TF3). The elation and joy I experienced with the first transformers was more then drowned out by the anguish of the awfulness of TF2. With the cajoling of Jenny, I went ahead and paid good money for the IMAX 3d version of TF3.

I want it back.
Not on account of the IMAX or the 3d, but because it was in no way even close to being a good movie.

Begin with the terrible scripting, in which line after line after line is delivered with the apparent purpose of making the audience wince. Mixed in are the attempts at humor and levity, relentless in its failure at generating a laugh from an audience who wanted this film to succeed.

Prior to seeing this film, I verbally rejoiced that Megan Fox would be absent from the screen. To whit, "It has to be better then the last one, there is no Megan Fox as a primary character!" The director, Michael Bay, succeeded in finding a single actress to make me desire to have Megan Fox back for her acting abilities. The new female lead, who's name I will not mention, has no acting ability aside from a stint with Victoria's Secret. Her involvement was to add a 'hottie' to the screen to create a love conflict with Sam Widwickity. She fails on both counts, even to the point of committing the greatest heresy in an action movie, serving as the focal point of camera work while giant robots have a throwdown in the background. Booo.

Speaking of Giant Robot Throwdowns, this movie excels in one way. Giant Sci-fi Robot throwdowns are not to be missed, especially ones between thousands of robots in what is possibly the most intricately epic cyber warfare on screen ever. Its majestic in scope and detail, for almost a full minute of mind blowing animation work.
Then the movie really starts, and with the exception of almost a collective 20 minutes of Giant Robot Throwdown, it is worthless.
Not even close to a good movie.

3/10, Which is more disappointing then Green Lantern. If it hadn't offended me with its underwear modeling and moments of pointlessness, it could achieve a 4/10.

7 comments:

Gino said...

i cant beleive a grown man would openly admit to seeing transformers movies, and then complain that it wasnt good enough.

OF COURSE IT SUCKED. IT'S FOR KIDS. YOU'RE A GROWN UP. IT IS SUPPOSED TO SUCK FOR GROWN UPS.

(sigh)... i just dont understand today's 20-somethings.

Gino said...

btw: "The Art Of Getting By".
take Jenny.

Sra. Madera said...

Thanks for the review. You saved us a lot of money. :)

KnightWing said...

I totally disagree with this review. Thought it was the first genuinely "good" Transformers movie. Decent plot, great action, and far less embarrassing stupid humor.
Also, Buzz Aldrin is in it. Yeah.
Best Transformers movie by far; totally worth watching.

Palm boy said...

Of course I openly admitted to seeing this movie! I loved the first one, and typically enjoy this kind of movie when its done well. This was not a movie marketed as for kids. You want a movie made for kids, watch cars 2 or something like that. This is Transformers 3, a movie made for young men and middle-aged guys who fondly remember the cartoons!
The things I do to keep you up-to-date on the cultural norms...

Sra. Your welcome!

Aaron, you're wrong. Please see my review ;)

Carey D said...

Oh bummer. We were going to see it for our anniversary. Guess I'm holding out for Harry Potter on Friday.

Palm boy said...

Cary, you won't be to happy with that either ;)